i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Congratulations! We have a period
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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