At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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