how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
