Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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