I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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