If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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