ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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