Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
