Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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