I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
