problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
