im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize