He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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