Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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