highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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