Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
