she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My cat gives me a boner
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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