I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize