Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize