Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
