I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
