After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
God, I missed his penis.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
