Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
