it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
