I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
