If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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