I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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