He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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