do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
