its not stalking. its research.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
