I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
