you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
