So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
