whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
