hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
