They have a pepper shaker for pot.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
