Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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