You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Couch. On fire.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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