10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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