she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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