2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I AM VODKA MAN
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
