Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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