So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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