Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
