is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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