I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
