Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think my moral compass just broke
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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