Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
