I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
