I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nutella sex= disaster
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
