I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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