is your mom at the bar?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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