oh god the rape fog is back!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
