I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
