Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
