As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
