There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
