If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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