So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
