there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize