So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
