just come out here and I will go home with you...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
