I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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