There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
