like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
