kristin has been a bad kristin
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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