Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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